Mini Obsessions Part 2 - Theo & Friends

My wife’s sister Edel. If she wasn’t quite so funny, charming and engaging you might possibly find her annoying. For example, if you are one of the unfortunate people who has to work alongside her, you might find her annoying because she is credited as being the best sales person in her entire company. And I’ve seen her at work, she makes it look easy. If you are in a photograph with Edel, she’s bound to look better than you, again a bit annoying. She also owns a fabulous Mini called Theo, which is also annoying, especially when it’s parked up next to my expensive but rotten Cooper Pickle. And if that wasn’t annoying enough, she has one last reason that would make ANY classic car owner not just annoyed, but stomach churning jealous. She has her own personal mechanic, who works on her Mini...FOR FREE. This person has over the past three years not only restored her Mini to tip top condition, but also maintains it, fixes it when it breaks, or bits fall off, or if Edel wants Theo improved or customised in some way.

Recently said personal mechanic has intimated that if she does get round to buying a rusty old Mini pick up, he will restore that too. Sickening isn’t it. The mechanic in question is Edels girlfriends dad, Ray. I won’t disclose his full name and address in case he’s inundated with rotten classics and pleas for free assistance in their restoration. In any case, he’s got his work cut out with Edels latest upgrades. Current work pencilled in includes replacing the drum brakes to Cooper discs, fitting a sunroof (changing the headlining whilst he’s at it) and improving the suspension. Ray is a retired Ford Dagenham plant worker and is one of those awe inspiring individuals who combines decades of engineering experience with raw natural talent for all things hands on. This is someone who has built four boats, just for fun. His last one was a Sun Cruiser, eleven metres in length and packing two Perkins diesel engines. Ray put the thing together, designing and building everything inside, from the floor up and all in his front garden. When you factor in the geography of Edel living with her girlfriend Michelle in Manchester with Michelle’s dad Ray living in Essex, you start to realise the enormity of what this man has achieved with Theo in the handful of weekends a year he gets his hands on it.

As you can see from the pictures, lucky lucky lucky Edel. Ray has turned her tired 1980 Austin Mini into a customised masterpiece (check the last pic). Ray does have a garage / garden shed combo Wallace & Gromit would be proud of. It includes a proper garage pit, tools, lathes, welding gear, and spray equipment, but you’ve got to know what you’re doing and Ray certainly does. Ray is very self-deprecating and I would imagine he would say he’s just sorted Edels mini out, ‘cleaned it up a bit’, when clearly a full blown restoration has taken place, check the pictures of Ray at work, which were taken over a recent weekend when the engine was overhauled. Highlights on that occasion included a new clutch, crankshaft oil seal, new master and slave cylinders, new exhaust, float valve for the carburettor, speedo cable, top and bottom hoses for the engine, new anti-freeze and a water pump. I dread to think what Rays efforts would have cost Edel if she was actually paying for the labour and that’s only the recent stuff.

Days before last year’s London to Brighton Mini run, Edel had a set of black revolution alloys fitted by an outfit in Leeds. On the drive back to Manchester Edel felt something was wrong and drove home slowly. When she phoned the shop to explain the worrying symptoms of vibration and strange tyre noises, the guy tried to fob her off, but Edel insisted he look it over. On the way back to Leeds Theo’s front drivers’ wheel broke free of its studs and bounced into the front window of a brand new Mercedes. That was the least of Edels concerns at the time as Theo’s front end crashed into the tarmac at 60 mph and started to drag the back end round to the front. Edel fought the steering and valiantly controlled the spin, Theo coming to an eventual stop, facing the wrong way on the hard shoulder, his front end stoved in but occupants, (Edel & Michelle) shaken but not hurt. Makes my story about losing one of my Mini’s hubcaps seem a little pedestrian. The driver of the Mercedes was also unhurt and was a very good sport about the whole thing. The accident had been caused by the idiot in Leeds over tightening the wheel nuts. When Ray found out he was spitting spanners for a good few hours. Michelle still wont tell her dad who did the work, so that they might be spared a visit from angry Ray. At the time it threw our London to Brighton plans into chaos, my mini Cooper Pickle was fully prepared, but Theo was in bits. Ray came to the rescue again and via the AA, Theo was transported to Rays workshop for a 48 hour marathon of body repairs and restoration work the A-Team would have been proud of. This is Edel all over, the only person outside Formula 1 who can crash a car and have it back on the road, with improvements, before tea time.

Edel has been unusually unlucky with her wheels before though and by ‘wheels’ I’m not trying to sound like a dude, I mean her actual wheels. The first problem was experienced when she kept the Mini on campus at Alseager. Someone quite unkindly loosened all the wheel nuts, so that when she drove off she very nearly lost all four corners, luckily she realised something was seriously wrong before leaving the car park. Theo’s also had more than his fair share of punctures, very strange.

As you might have guessed, Edel, like me, suffers from a Mini obsession. Weirdly, whilst finding the pics I needed for this blog I came across a comment Edel wrote on Facebook dated 23rd January last year, it reads ‘I think I have a mini obsession he has had a facelift and I love my new car x’ So we guessed right. No one knows this truth better than Michelle, Edels long suffering other half. Currently Michelle is trying to steer Edels Mini obsession clear of purchasing a trailer for Theo, one of those made out of the back portion of a dead mini. Yes, good luck with that Michelle...

Next blog post is about last years London to Brighton run, which seems fitting with all the current preparations for this years event, both Theo and Pickle have their silver tickets already. Pickle is about to be woken from his winter sleep in order to assess the inevitable deterioration, please wish me luck with that too....